


stay alight, your glow is my only constant

by leevee



Series: lovestruck lionhearts [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Keith and Allura talked a lot about their feelings for Lance, Keith knew about Allura's death from Quantum Abyss, M/M, Pining Allura (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Pre-Relationship, Team Bonding, so he made sure Allura was happy, space road-trip gives you time to talk about things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 00:42:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17254418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leevee/pseuds/leevee
Summary: They were consumed with guilt: Keith for leaving Lance behind to join the Blade, and Allura for breaking Lance's heart when she was dating Lotor. Both need assurance that they all deserve to be happy.---or, Lance's number one fanboy and number one fangirl bonded during the space road-trip





	stay alight, your glow is my only constant

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to think that Keith, after his two years of bonding time with Krolia, has matured. But where did he learn to comfort people? Lance! And who's his practice target? The team!
> 
> And here's my headcanon: Allura is so observant that she knew who's _everyone's_ crush. Cue Allura and Keith gushing over Lance because, that'll be so cute! >///<
> 
> Also, the usual warning: Please bear in mind that I have no beta and English is not my native language. Enjoy!

“I’m not going to lecture you, Keith.”

Allura was a very, very good observant.

“I’m just wondering why.”

She observed the paladins since Lance held her in his arms and learned a lot about them just by observing. Plus, she had space mice that could communicate with her by telepathy, and they were so small to fit and overhear any possible gossip in the Castle.

Thus when she asked Keith why he had to take up so many Blade mission, he assumed she almost had all the piece in her hand—just need a small hint. Or maybe she only asked to confirm her hypothesis. Because there was no way her mices didn’t hear his conversation with Lance about the one-paladin-too-many issue, right?

Shiro needed the additional push to be able to pilot Black. Black would understand. Keith already asked her, and Black said she would accept Shiro only when the situation is dire. Well, she also accepted him because the situation was dire, too.

He took a deep breath and hope the princess would understand. “We have too much paladin in this Castle, Allura.”

The white-haired woman took her time to process the information, before realization hit her. “But I can convince him to—”

“He won’t listen. You know how stubborn he could be. At least this way, everyone belongs somewhere.”

Keith pulled his hood and started to walk to the hangar. “Please watch him for me.”

Allura was a good observant, and Keith was never good at hiding his feelings. She must have known, because she smiled sadly and said, “I will.”

* * *

Naxzela happened and all Keith could think about was  _ Lance, Lance, Lance is unsafe, please someone keep him safe _ and he was struck with an idea.

_ Maybe I can keep him safe for a little longer. _

And a little longer was fine for him, so he drove straight to the fire.

* * *

During his journey in the Quantum Abyss with Krolia, Keith experienced flashes of the past much more often than the future ones. The memories with Voltron comforted him when he felt extremely lonely and detached and no one was awake enough to hold him tight.

The memories of Garrison days also gave him more closure to Lance than he ever thought. To be able to see how their younger self interact, how he had hurt said boy when he decided to close himself from any possible friendship...

Keith wished his past self wasn’t that idiot. He wished so badly that he had stayed.

Then a future vision came in which Allura left them behind, never came back, and Keith mourned for upcoming possibilities ahead of its time.

* * *

When Keith finally got back to Voltron, he didn’t mean to be so harsh to everyone. But time was ticking and he had waited  _ two years _ for some action that would numb the cruel voices in his mind.

He learned that Allura was dating Lotor and felt conflicted. Wasn’t Lance in love with her? How could she chose a dubious man over the complexly gorgeous red paladin?

_ She dated Lance’s savior, _ his mind added.  _ Remember Naxzela. That little time you wished for, has to be paid with his heartbreak. _

Keith focused on the other task, instead. Like battling his not-older-brother and fulfilling Lance’s old remark about sticking him into a wormhole.

* * *

Lance and Allura was embracing each other, and Keith’s mind turned into a conflict once more.

_ She was the one who decided to ignore Lance’s feeling, she was the one who risked her heart by dating an evil emperor, and yet Lance was the one who comforted her? _ his anger said.  _ Hasn’t she hurt him enough? _

_ Remember that you were at fault, too, _ his sensible part countered.  _ You were the one who left at the first place. You were the one who asked her to take care of him because you didn’t try to find someone more capable like Hunk or Pidge, because you were too afraid to tell anyone the reason. You were the one at fault, and karma had finally paid you off. Endure this. _

“Keith!”

But Lance voice broke through, with a wide smile that melted his heart, and Keith thought this kind of punishment is okay as long as he had Lance’s smile.

* * *

“I’m sorry, Shiro.”

Keith’s mind screamed a thousand  _ no, you don’t have to _ because it was never Lance’s fault for not realizing their Shiro was not really Shiro. Why didn’t they blame Keith, instead? He was the one who blindly believe they had found the real black paladin and left the whole team with a spy. See, another reason why he should never leave at the first place.

“I--I didn’t know...”

Allura stopped him, though. Allura stopped Lance’s self-hate thoughts when Keith couldn’t, Allura saved Shiro when Keith couldn’t, Allura utilize her magic to save everyone when Keith couldn’t.

Was there anything he could do for the team? For Lance?

He got reminded about visions from Quantum Abyss and thought that this time, he should stay with the team when (if?) Allura finally couldn’t.

* * *

Coran, combined with the adults in their group and Romelle, managed to convince the paladins to take a rest before taking off from the planet they’re currently landing on, thus they took their sleeping beds and lay them on the ground. But before Keith closed his eyes, he saw Lance and Allura privately talking under Blue Lion and hugging each other.

_ You’ve been excited to sleep beside Lance and slip small bedtime conversation, but look at your current reality, _ his mind taunted.  _ You’ll always lose him, even when you manage to keep him by your side. _

_ Allura deserved this, _ the kinder side countered.  _ Allura had done things you couldn’t, even in the middle of her heartbreak, and she deserved the best comfort. Who’s the best person to comfort others? Lance, right? Let her be. _

Yeah, Allura deserved to be comforted, while she’s still with them.

Soon, they joined him to the sleeping circle, and Lance turned his head towards Keith. “Can’t sleep yet, Team Leader?”

The newly re-assigned Black Paladin shook his head. “Gotta make sure everyone’s in their sleeping bed.”

Lance smiled sheepishly. “Sorry for not telling you beforehand. You realized that Allura was dating Lotor, right? So if anyone was hurting the most from this... series of events, it should be her.”

“Because she was betrayed by her own boyfriend and forced to fight him?”

“Yes,” Lance nodded. “And yet she still did what she must. In front of the team, she acted as if her relationship meant nothing, but I know she was just wearing a mask. And you can’t keep faking your feelings for so long, you know? Someone must be there for her breakdown.”

“Are you okay with that?” Keith asked. “Doesn’t it break you to see Allura getting heartbroken?”

“Yeah,” the Red Paladin sighed softly. “But remember who’s currently in pain the most? Allura. Not me.” He pulled a grin and winked. “Besides, I’m used to unrequited crushes. I’ll get over it in time.”

See, Keith had totally fallen in love with the kindest man in the universe. He should totally follow his example. “Um, you can talk to me about your feelings, too. I—I might not be as good as you in comforting people, but I’ll try my best.”

Lance grinned even wider. “You mean, no more ‘leave the math to Pidge’ kind of comfort?”

Keith groaned. “Do you really have to bring it up? That was my first time comforting people! At least now I’ve learned the basics from Krolia!”

“I’m still questioning your ability.”

Of course Lance would be traumatized. Anyone would be traumatized if they had to be comforted with the wrong words.

“But I can help you learn,” he smiled softly. “When my mind get clearer, I’ll tell you where you’ve done wrong, and how to improve it.”

Lance was giving him a chance. No, he was trying to give him a course on how to be more capable in emotional department, and Keith was going to savor every opportunity.

“Looking forward for it, Sharpshooter,” he replied with a smile. “Now, sleep!”

* * *

The paladins decided that there should be at least two people awake to watch over the team, and everyone should be paired with everyone regularly. Silently, they agreed not to say the obvious other reason why there should be at least two people on the watch: they were going to use that time to bond with each other.

Hunk was filled with optimism and cute, heartwarming selfies with animals. Keith could brag about how adorable his space wolf was, and Hunk managed to creatively pose with the space mice. Pidge would try to get him to play Killbot Phantasm or reminiscing about the old times with the Holts and Shiro before Kerberos mission. Lance told him a lot of stories, whether he was there to experience it or not, and he learned a lot about comforting people, too.

When he finally got paired with Allura, he was quite prepared. Thanks, Lance.

“So...”

Allura had set up the video chat, but she didn’t dare to look up to his face yet. Lance told Keith to wait patiently, so he waited patiently. That didn’t stop him from speaking, though. “So?”

The Blue Paladin took a deep breath before begin. “So, I guess I didn’t fulfill your request, huh?”

“Which request?”

“The one you told me before you joined the Blade full time,” she said before pressing her lips for the umpteenth time. “You asked me to watch over Lance.”

“Lance looks quite okay to me,” Keith replied.

“No, he’s not,” Allura confessed. “Actually, when you’re not with us, I think we all sort of neglecting Lance.”

Wait, what?

“Hunk and Pidge were too focused on their science project, Shiro was a clone who was too authoritarian to listen to Lance’s input, I was too focused on Altean alchemy, and Coran wasn’t the best company ever. Lance spent a lot of time playing games with Pidge and sword-training with me, but mostly he did those activities by himself.”

Lance, spending his alone time by training? Keith couldn’t believe it at first, but that fact help explaining the existence of Lance’s bayard upgrade.

His had never changed, though. If Lance got upgrades when he was training, what would cause his upgrades?

“Well, can’t blame you guys,” Keith smiled just enough to boost Allura’s mood, which didn’t work. He should asked Lance how to deal with these kinds of situation later.

“That doesn’t cover  _ everything, _ Keith.”

Said paladin blinked his eyes multiple times. “What do you mean?”

“Lance had... died, in a sense.”

Wait,  _ what? _

“I knew how to bring Shiro back to life because I’ve done it before. Once, Lotor asked us to help fixing a radiation shield on one of the Galra bases.” Allura took a pause. “There was... some trouble, and Lance hit my lion so that the radiation hit him instead of me. Red went still for a while, so I went to check him up and brought him back to life.”

Keith refused to believe it. Naxzela was one thing, but to be truly dead and come back to life? In a simple rescue mission, nonetheless.

_ Correct your thought, _ his mind added.  _ No missions are simple. They always carry some risks. Lance would be your grim reminder from now on. _

He gulped before continued saying, “Thanks for bringing him back.” Blinked a bit more. “I... I don’t know how would I react if he left us when I’m not with you all.”

“I’m terribly sorry, Keith.”

Seeing Allura that sad made Keith’s heart lurched. “Don’t be.”

While he tried to think about any other topic to steer the conversation, Allura had already come up with a starter. “Anyway, regarding to Lance... crush, on me.”

Oh, so Allura realized that. Keith wasn’t surprised, knowing how perceptive she was. “What about it?”

“It seemed to me that his crush is... running deeper than we thought.”

“Hasn’t he always been serious about his feelings for you?”

Her eyes widened. “Did you really thought so?!”

Okay. Keith had totally lost, he had to recite the same line again. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he didn’t strongly show his crush on me until you left for the Blade. All this time, we thought your rivalry with Lance was because you both were covering your feelings.”

Keith nodded. “At the beginning, the only way I could interact with Lance was by responding to his taunting. That’s why I played along his rivalry. You thought Lance had the same reason as mine?”

Allura nodded. “Then you were gone, and Lance started to show his crush on me more prominently. Maybe—” she gasped with a realization on her face, “... oh, so that’s what happened.”

“What happened?”

Allura only giggled.

“Allura, explain to me, what  _ happened?!” _

“Go figure it out,  _ team leader.” _

“Oh God, you know I can’t! Also, only Lance got to call me that way!”

* * *

Lance was staring with pleading eyes, and it was too cute to ignore.

But Keith has Kosmo, and he had trained to harden his heart whenever someone (or some wolf)  _ plead _ . No. The only Voltron member who were willing to help Axca was probably only him, and he won’t risk anyone to follow his selfish act.

Besides, by implicitly passing the baton for the rest of the mission to Lance, he wanted to listen to his right-hand man giving out commands like the respective leader he had become as a morale booster. Like a total fanboy he was.

God, he was such a loser for the Red Paladin.

* * *

There were advantages of having Allura as his watch-over partner immediately after they took off from the Galran pirate ship. She was the only paladin who clearly knew about his feelings for Lance, so he could say anything about said Red Paladin without causing suspicions.

This time, Keith wasn’t the only one who thought so.

“Did you see how Lance lead the team?” Allura excitedly began their conversation. “He was so... charismatic!”

“Yeah, I’ve listen to it,” Keith grinned. “He was amazing! I’m so glad to have him in Red.”

_ And you were so lucky to have his heart. _

Allura pressed her lips for a moment. “I think... Lance has matured a lot, don’t you think?”

“War tends to force people to grow up faster, but yes. He’s matured.”

Her eyes turned fond. “He used to be a bit annoying for my taste. Bothering people, making jokes at inappropriate time, shameless flirting with any female he found... everything that Lotor wasn’t.”

Oh, so now we’re talking about this? Keith hoped Lance had prepared him well for emotional talks, especially in romance. “Mhm?”

“But he has admirable qualities, too, once you saw through those. When his bayard turned into a broadsword for the first time, I was truly amazed because, whoa, guns and swords are totally different! You had to change your whole fighting style to use them. But Lance was so versatile, and he picked up sword-fighting so easily. That’s when I begin to see.”

Keith smiled softly. “I wish I was there to see it.”

“You should!” Allura beamed. “That was probably the first time I saw him doing amazing thing, but he didn’t ask for praise about it. And yet...”

“Yet?”

“Yet I was too consumed with my budding feelings for Lotor to think about it. He was half-Altean: a fact that I never thought would give me so much comfort. Offered me things that I wanted: peaceful reign. Showed me wonders I’ve never seen: Oriande and the rift. I was too captivated, that I decided to follow him blindly. And I was wrong.”

“Allura...”

“I’m sorry, Keith. Sorry for abandoning Lance. Sorry for not recognizing his potential the way you do.”

Keith decided to pull an encouraging smile, as encouraging as he could. “No worries. At least you’ve known what he’s capable of. And I believe he’ll show us much more.”

Allura pulled a wider smile. “Thank you, Keith. I should thank Lance, too, for comforting me when I was... recovering, from my break up.”

“Oh! After this, you’re scheduled to be paired with him, right?”

The princess nodded. Her fond expression didn’t changed.

“Um, Allura?”

“Yes, Keith?”

He gulped and prepared himself for any scenario. “Do you... is there any chance you develop a crush on Lance?”

A heavy silence.

“Keith, are you... mad at me?”

Keith answered as honest as he could. “I don’t know. But I’d like to know how it happened.”

Allura took a deep breath before began. “I guess it began not long after we begin this journey? Lance helped me a lot with my own heartbreak, and I finally realized how  _ mature _ he was. Like, there’s always a good reason behind everything. He flirted because he wanted me to relax. He made jokes because he wanted to lift our spirit. He... did everything, because he was so kind and thoughtful.”

At least Keith could agree with her about one thing: they fell for Lance after seeing the kindness in his intention, and how he acted upon that intention. “I guess I can understand that. It’s just... the timing. Really? Not long after you broke up with Lotor?”

“That’s one reason why I thought you’ll be mad,” Allura frowned. “You must be thinking that Lance is my rebound. And honestly, I don’t know if I was just trying to distract myself, or if this feelings are genuine. I need time.”

Well, it’s not like Keith didn’t take time to come to terms with his crush, either. The lack of activity in the Quantum Abyss helped him realized that he was truly in love with Lance; his feeling for said Cuban wasn’t just a simple crush.

“Then what was the other reason?”

The Blue Paladin didn’t dare to look directly at his eyes. “The other reason was... because I’m still in love with Lotor.”

“What?!”

“See, that’s why I thought you’ll be mad!” Allura finally looked at Keith again, whose jaws were still hanging. “You thought that after what he had done, after we fought him in the rift, after  _ all this time we spent on this journey, _ I would have moved on. I  _ thought _ I would. But no, I know I’m still in love with him.”

A deadpan got out. “And you had a crush on Lance, too.”

“It’s an unbelievable fact for you, but some people, like me, can like two people at the same time.”

Keith took his time to process everything. Allura liked both Lotor and Lance? Was that even possible? For him, his love for Lance had almost filled his small heart, apart from some brotherly affection for Shiro and his budding familial love for his mother. And friendship for the ex-residents of Castle of Lions. Could he romantically love another person? For now, the answer was no.

He decided to break the silence. “I... don’t understand. At all. How do you know you’re liking with two person at the same time?”

“Some people believe love has to be monogamous to work. Maybe you’re one of them.” Allura’s shoulders were getting less tense. “In my culture, polyamorous relationship is common, so I didn’t found it weird.”

“Yeah, polyamorous relationship exist on Earth, too,” Keith admit. “I just—you’re right, Allura. Currently, I don’t think I’m able to be romantically attracted to more than one person at the same time. But you could.”

She smiled. “Thank you, Keith, for trying to understand me.”

“You’re welcome,” Keith smiled back. “So, what are you going to do with it?”

“I think I’ll take my time to process them,” she admitted, “because I need to know why do I have these feelings, what are them to me, what I want in our relationship and what I actually need... stuff like that?”

Keith nodded.

“I’m glad you know about it, though. So far, you’re the only one who knows about my new crush.”

“And if you want to gush about how awesome Lance is, I’ll gladly indulge.  Keith chuckled. “After all, I’m his number one fan!”

Allura raised her eyebrow playfully. “Are you sure about that?”

They both laughed, and Keith never thought he could feel some kind of relieve from finding a rival in love.

* * *

“How’s the training, number one fanboy?”

“Lance showed a lot of progress in sword-fighting. See how he pinned me before we called it off, number one fangirl? He finally did it!”

“Mhm. Must be nice to be trapped under that hot gaze.”

“Totally worth it.”

* * *

“So. How does it feel to be chosen by our angel himself?”

“... awesome. Ultimate blessing. Lance is truly an angel. Us sinful mortals will never deserve him.”

“Good. Now, the important question: why did you say it? His insecurities had gone up!”

“I don’t know! Suddenly I was gay panicking and I can’t control my mouth! Also, you snapped on him, too, at the pictionary!”

“... we messed up, don’t we?”

“Yeah, and we gotta talk to him about it. Really soon.”

“Disconnect now?”

“Disconnect now.”

* * *

Intense guilt. Intense guilt. Intense guilt.

“Allura, you’re right,” Keith sighed, once they were alone, sometime after settling on the Garrison.

Lance’s hurtful words when they were stranded invaded his mind. Keith was correct, him leaving the team had hurt the one he loved more than he could imagine. “I should’ve never leave the team for the Blade. I was an idiot. You’ve tried to warn me, but I didn’t listen, and now I pay the price.”

“Hey, Keith, it’s okay,” Allura said as she took a seat beside him. “You made mistakes, I made mistakes. We all do that. But remember what Lance said?”

Keith smiled softly. “We’re going to fix it.”

Allura smiled back.  _ “We, _ not  _ I. _ Remember that.” She went back to her teasing expression. “Also remember that the two of you form Voltron’s wings. You and Lance have this unshakable bond, and they will be stronger as you learn from your past mistakes. You  _ will _ be alright.”

He remembered Allura’s absence in the future flashes from Quantum Abyss and mourned again for that impending day when he would live without his precious comrade. “Thank you, Allura.”

“Anytime, Keith.”

* * *

A couple days before Atlas’ launch date, Allura and Keith had another moment alone. Another conversation about what-ifs, something that they did a lot once Keith knew about Allura’s crush on Lance.

“What should I do if he asked me out?”

The Black Paladin shrugged. “Just go for it, I guess?”

“But you like him!” she countered. “It’s just—I don’t think it’s fair. You’re in love with him since... how long was it again?”

“Almost five years, if we count the time I spent in the Quantum Abyss.”

_ “Almost five years! _ And during most of that time, all I do was hurting him with my attitude and breaking his heart when I was having a romantic relationship with Lotor, which I still haven’t truly moved on from. You deserve to be with him, more than me!”

“Allura, stop!” Keith glared. “We’ve talked about this: you deserve to be with whoever you wanted to be with! And if Lance like you, and you like him back, then why wouldn’t you go on a date with him? No matter who’s in your heart, I know for sure that you guys like each other. You can make each other happy if you’re together! Your past, and how much people you’re romantically interested in, don’t matter!”

“And what about you?” Allura glared back. “Your feelings matter, too!”

The half-Galran unconsciously changed his expression to a forlorn one. “As long as he’s happy, I’m okay with anything. And I know you’ll make him happy.”

“Do you still blame yourself over your mistakes? When you’ve just told me that the past doesn’t matter?”

Part of it, but she didn’t have to know. “No, I just knew he didn’t like me as much as I do. And if I ask him out, he’ll worry too much about it and I’ll put the team in jeopardy. We can’t have that, not with the war incoming.”

“Keith—”

“Allura, you deserve to be happy. You and Lance, together.”

Another silence. A resolution made.

“I’ve failed to make Lance happy before,” Allura said. “So when I fail again, will you make him happy?”

“If,” Keith corrected her. “If you fail, I’ll be there for him. And for you, too. But please, be happy. You deserve it, all of you.”

Even if she didn’t have much time, the Princess deserved to gain peace and joy. He would make sure of that.

“Thank you, Keith.”

“Anytime, Allura.”

* * *

For Lance’s sake, Keith made plans to make sure everything worked out. Like planting ideas to Hunk that he should be Lance’s wingman to ask Allura out. And planting ideas to Romelle that Allura needed new clothes for her date and they need approval from almost all women boarding the IGF-Atlas. And planting ideas to Lance that he was enough to pursue his ideal romantic relationship.

For Allura’s sake, he fulfilled his promise. Like asking Lance to prank James together when she was busy attending meetings. And boosting up his morale whenever the Red Paladin seemed down. And just, be there for him whenever she couldn’t.

Because they both loved him so much.

* * *

Keith had seen this vast whiteness before, in one of his future flashes. The last flash that contained Allura in it, actually.

That’s when he knew: their time together was ending.

Allura took her time to say goodbye to everyone, and he knew she was saving her most loved one for the last. Keith and Allura had their own respective view towards each other said out loud right after she had her farewell with Shiro, but then the Princess moved to hug him and he knew it was their time to bask in their little secret camaraderie one last time.

“Hi, number one fangirl,” he whispered.

“Hi, number one fanboy,” she whispered back.

“Are you happy?”

“Very much, thank you.”

Before she pulled back, there was one more promise to be spoken. “Please watch him for me.”

Well, it’s not like Keith was going to break it. Confidently, the fully grown Black Paladin said, “I will.”

**Author's Note:**

> If I had time, I'd like to write about Allura and Lance talking about themselves: they were both able to love two people at the same time, right? But Keith had different value, that's why Lance cannot date him: he respected Keith's feelings.
> 
> Do you like how it ends up? Comment below if there is anything I can improve ^_^


End file.
